All my friends are gone

You would not believe what I see and what I've been through. There's so many things that might had changed for this past three years. I couldn't believe myself either.

Too many things had changed. The way I talk, the way I behave, the way I see this world, but there's tiny little thing deep inside my chest, that can't resist to all the changes. It's begging me to stay, to hold on to the old glory days. Maybe that place is where I belong. It might be. But I also resist to stay there. I love the both sides of me. The more I think about it, the more my chest hurts. It feels like hell it feels like heaven as well. I want to cry but I can't, but I shouldn't. Because I'm brave. Because I'm strong. Because I'm Dewi. I think I only miss the old days, when they all gathered in one place and talked like we know each other for a really long time. But we didn't and now all my friends are gone and I realized that I don't know them. They vanished. Maybe if I talk to them again, they will not recognize me, I'm just a stranger. And this tiny little piece deep in my chest is trying to call them but it can't, because it don't have any power to do so. Because, after all this time, I'm afraid again of what will happen if we together again.

It's just very different. Very odd. I don't speak. I insist to not. If only you know that I've missing you all for years now.