devour your brain

It's just me and my complicated life...or if I can add, love-life. Because I don't know why can I love somebody yet. Everytime I feel my feminine side of me wants to shows itself, I always try to hide it, and it always turn out good. I don't really know how to love somebody because I think I can't be a loyal person. I don't know but I'm scared to have somebody. And as the matter of fact there's noone who's waiting for mw out there. Oh shit! Wrong, there's one but I will rather go away than be with him, I'm not trying to be bad or mean, but I don't want to break his fragile heart and yes I chose to stay away as far as possible. But! Oh I don't really like but. But...there's one...another peraon that maybe can you know what I mean. I think I've saved his dignity from my mom's malicious words and yeah he don't even know that yet. My mom adm I talked about this one person a lot untill my mom assumed that I like him but I'm not because there's no trigger for me to do that....to like him I mean. I don't like being rushed and I don't like someone that exaggerate something. It annoys me aaaaaa loooot. Also, I don't like a real transparant person (you can guess what he would do next for you, mushy-gushy romance) OH GOD!, I like challange si the person must be a bit tough to understand, that would be great. I like to argue and barging, oh man, you don't have to follow everything that I say, you have your own opinion and we will work it out somehow. Yeah that's it, a smart and intelligent person must be added too, but about handsome? I'm young, I have to experience a lot of things...so let's see, I'd love to have someone that is handsome and dashing. I like one that look good in suit and cargo pants. Hahahaha. If God had one.